With finals only 3 weeks away, I’ve recently found myself struggling to eat right, sleep right and work right. Based on the earlier posts on my blog, one might simply assume that I have my life together. Actually, I did, at that point in time before college started kicking my ass. At the start of this year, I was eating well, getting a ton of sleep, exercising, reading and taking care of myself to the max. Now, i’m struggling to make it to the end of the semester with only one nail painted. Yaay… I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve lost all the energy and vigor to push me straight through.
If it wasn’t for my mom preparing breakfast for me most mornings before she heads to work, I don’t think i’d actually have a good breakfast. My diet has deteriorated so much to the point where sometimes I just don’t feel like eating. And when I actually do feel for food, I eat crap- chips, ice-cream, chocolate snacks, donuts and CANDY (something that you’d have never caught me eating before). Only God knows how comes I haven’t started drinking soda. Almost always, when I eat junk, I feel guilty afterwards.
As for sleep, I’ve barely been managing to get enough of that too. When I go to bed at nights, I find myself thinking about everything that I need to do before a certain time, and sometimes, as tired as I may be, I get tempted to get up and try to accomplish something. Most times I gotta just force myself to lay still until I knock out.
My body has started to feel the impact of this mess. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see it under my eyes and on my skin. Oh, and the scale is showing it too. I’m at a point where I have no clue what to do. I keep telling myself that my good grades are worth all this, but I fail to believe it. I’m breaking out, I have bags under my eyes, I’ve gained a few pounds and I’ve lost my motivation. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to go to school full time and work 23 hours on the weekends. No.. it’s not that. You know what? I’ve just grown plain old lazy. I’ve got no motivation to cross off the things on my to-do lists on time, and because of that, I’ve started to shy away from looking at my planner just so I don’t feel bad. I end up doing assignments the night before or two nights before they’re due, which results in me being stressed which= a lack of sleep, breakouts, a poor diet and no motivation to care for my appearance. Yes, I’ve been rocking those sweats to school with my hoodie covering my head.
I need some kind of action plan because I cannot end the semester in this mess. I need to dig deep for that motivation and find sources of inspiration. This struggle cannot continue, no no. Let’s see how it goes!
I’m sure many of you have felt this way or is currently feeling this way. Let me know whats up and how you plan to get through/ got through it. Who knows, your tips might help me out.